A lot of people want to know WHO Alabaster Brown was...
Alabaster was a shady character from the mid 19th century, reportedly the bastard son of Georgia Brown...

He later moved to his namesake, Alabaster Alabama, and according to our careful geneological survey, he is our own common GREAT GRAND BASTARD...

It was no small feat to figure out ones' geneology coming from a very long line of bastards, as it were, but through modern day DNA we discovered that Alabaster had been whizzing in the gene pool for quite some time, down there...